Haven't you ever had the urge to loose control when ordering that burrito or burger and drink combo?
1. Ask for last months specials.
2. Place your order in three different languages if you don't know any, make them up.
3. When they repeat your order totally change it. Repeat as desired.
4. Order a whopper from McDonalds, when they say they don't have whoppers insist that they do. If they still argue demand to see a manager then when you talk to them order a normal meal and say i don't know what's up with kids these days.
5. Go to any burger joint and order Chinese.
6. When ordering in the drive through, ask if its happy hour on draft beer.
7. In summer turn stereo up full volume to Christmas music while ordering in drive through.
8. Drive in the drive through, park, then go inside and order.
9. Go through the drive through in reverse, again.
10. Wait for the busiest time of day, after paying get out of car, get jack out of trunk and proceed to rotate tires.
11. Check oil in drive through, possibly touch up the windscreen with some glass cleaner.
12. Walk up to drive through window with hands in the air like your holding onto a steering wheel.
13. Go through drive through and ask for directions to the place you're at.
14. Go through drive through naked, excluding the rabbit slippers of course!
15. Go inside and ask in a load voice if they got rid of the Ebola problems they've been having
16. Argue with your passenger (that's not there) and continue until you pay.
17. When they ask if that will be all tell them to hold on, your dog won't make up his mind.
18. After eating half your meal return it and say you got the wrong thing and ask for a refund.
19. As you're pulling away and they say "Have a nice day!" (with that retarded smile) put the car in reverse and ask them what the hell that's supposed to mean.
20. Order something from one fast food place then go to another drive through when they give you your food take one bite and say "No thank you
this tastes better (pointing to bag from other place), may i have my money back."
21. Play name that tune with person taking the order.
22. Pretend your deaf and order in sign language.
23. Go through Taco Bell order the 7 layer burrito. When they repeat your order ask if each layer of the burrito is sold separately.
24. When they ask how you are today proceed by telling them about your diarrhea problems, most likely due to the burger you bought from them yesterday and the day before that.
25. Go through a drive through after they tell you to pull to the window drive past it and go inside to get your order.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Man of the House
Tony had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'You Can Be The Man of Your House.'
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.
After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.
Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?'
His Sicilian wife Gina replied, "The fucking funeral director would be my first guess."
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.
After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.
Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?'
His Sicilian wife Gina replied, "The fucking funeral director would be my first guess."
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Hearing Aids
An eldery patient gets hearing aids from a doctor. After short time, he meets the doctor again.
Doctor, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased."
Patient, "Oh, I am in a funny situation now. I haven't told my family yet. I just sit and listen to their conversations. In a month, I've changed my will three times!"
Doctor, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased."
Patient, "Oh, I am in a funny situation now. I haven't told my family yet. I just sit and listen to their conversations. In a month, I've changed my will three times!"
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Two Hillbillies
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.
After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in
real distress.
One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya' swallar?"
The woman shakes her head no.
Then he asks, "Kin ya' breathe?"
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.
His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!"
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.
After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in
real distress.
One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya' swallar?"
The woman shakes her head no.
Then he asks, "Kin ya' breathe?"
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.
His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)