Sunday, March 31, 2013
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Instructions on Life from Kids
— KIDS’ INSTRUCTIONS ON LIFE —
Never trust a dog to watch your food. -Patrick, Age 10
When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents. -Matthew, Age 12
Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching. -Andrew, Age 9
Wear a hat when feeding seagulls. -Rocky, Age 9
Sleep in your clothes so you’ll be dressed in the morning. -Stephanie, Age 8
Never try to hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. -Rosemary, Age 7
Don’t flush the toilet when you dad’s in the shower. -Lamar, Age 10
Never ask for anything that costs more than five dollars when your parents are doing taxes. -Carrol, Age 9
Never bug a pregnant mom. -Nicholas, Age 11
Don’t ever be too full for dessert. -Kelly, Age 10
When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him. -Heather, Age 16
Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. -Michael, Age 14
Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat. -Joel, Age 12
When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she’s on the phone. -Alyesha, Age 13
Never try to baptize a cat. -Laura, Age 13
Never spit when on a roller coaster. -Scott, Age 11
Never do pranks at a police station. -Sam, Age 10
Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it’s moving. -Rob, Age 10
Never tell your little brother that you’re not going to do what your mom told you to do. -Hank, Age 12
Remember you’re never too old to hold your father’s hand. -Molly, Age 11
Listen to your brain. It has lots of information. -Chelsey, Age 7
Stay away from prunes. -Randy, Age 9
Never dare your little brother to paint the family car. -Phillip, Age 13
Forget the cake. Go for the icing! -Cynthia, Age 8
Never trust a dog to watch your food. -Patrick, Age 10
When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents. -Matthew, Age 12
Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching. -Andrew, Age 9
Wear a hat when feeding seagulls. -Rocky, Age 9
Sleep in your clothes so you’ll be dressed in the morning. -Stephanie, Age 8
Never try to hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. -Rosemary, Age 7
Don’t flush the toilet when you dad’s in the shower. -Lamar, Age 10
Never ask for anything that costs more than five dollars when your parents are doing taxes. -Carrol, Age 9
Never bug a pregnant mom. -Nicholas, Age 11
Don’t ever be too full for dessert. -Kelly, Age 10
When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him. -Heather, Age 16
Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. -Michael, Age 14
Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat. -Joel, Age 12
When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she’s on the phone. -Alyesha, Age 13
Never try to baptize a cat. -Laura, Age 13
Never spit when on a roller coaster. -Scott, Age 11
Never do pranks at a police station. -Sam, Age 10
Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it’s moving. -Rob, Age 10
Never tell your little brother that you’re not going to do what your mom told you to do. -Hank, Age 12
Remember you’re never too old to hold your father’s hand. -Molly, Age 11
Listen to your brain. It has lots of information. -Chelsey, Age 7
Stay away from prunes. -Randy, Age 9
Never dare your little brother to paint the family car. -Phillip, Age 13
Forget the cake. Go for the icing! -Cynthia, Age 8
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Why Alcohol Should be Served at Work
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.
5. It encourages car pooling.
6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
8. It makes fellow employees look better.
9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.
5. It encourages car pooling.
6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
8. It makes fellow employees look better.
9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Sunday, March 3, 2013
What is s Kiss?
Prof. of Computer Science:
A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.
Prof. of Algebra:
A kiss is two divided by nothing.
Prof. of Geometry:
A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.
Prof. of Physics:
A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.
Prof. of Zoology:
A kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary bacteria.
Prof. of Physiology:
A kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicular ors muscles in the state of contraction.
Prof. of Dentistry:
A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.
Prof. of Accountancy:
A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.
Prof. of Economics:
A kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the supply.
Prof. of Philosophy:
A kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.
Prof. of Engineering:
Uh, What? I’m not familiar with that term.
A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.
Prof. of Algebra:
A kiss is two divided by nothing.
Prof. of Geometry:
A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.
Prof. of Physics:
A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.
Prof. of Zoology:
A kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary bacteria.
Prof. of Physiology:
A kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicular ors muscles in the state of contraction.
Prof. of Dentistry:
A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.
Prof. of Accountancy:
A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.
Prof. of Economics:
A kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the supply.
Prof. of Philosophy:
A kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.
Prof. of Engineering:
Uh, What? I’m not familiar with that term.
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