Instructions on Life from Kids

— KIDS’ INSTRUCTIONS ON LIFE —

Never trust a dog to watch your food. -Patrick, Age 10

When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents. -Matthew, Age 12

Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching. -Andrew, Age 9

Wear a hat when feeding seagulls. -Rocky, Age 9

Sleep in your clothes so you’ll be dressed in the morning. -Stephanie, Age 8

Never try to hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. -Rosemary, Age 7

Don’t flush the toilet when you dad’s in the shower. -Lamar, Age 10

Never ask for anything that costs more than five dollars when your parents are doing taxes. -Carrol, Age 9

Never bug a pregnant mom. -Nicholas, Age 11

Don’t ever be too full for dessert. -Kelly, Age 10

When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him. -Heather, Age 16

Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. -Michael, Age 14

Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat. -Joel, Age 12

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she’s on the phone. -Alyesha, Age 13

Never try to baptize a cat. -Laura, Age 13

Never spit when on a roller coaster. -Scott, Age 11

Never do pranks at a police station. -Sam, Age 10

Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it’s moving. -Rob, Age 10

Never tell your little brother that you’re not going to do what your mom told you to do. -Hank, Age 12

Remember you’re never too old to hold your father’s hand. -Molly, Age 11

Listen to your brain. It has lots of information. -Chelsey, Age 7

Stay away from prunes. -Randy, Age 9

Never dare your little brother to paint the family car. -Phillip, Age 13

Forget the cake. Go for the icing! -Cynthia, Age 8