Men vs. Women: How They Talk

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given by Women

I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance")

There's a slight difference in our ages.
(You are one Jurassic geezer.)

I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way
(You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon)

My life is too complicate right now.
(I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing)

I've got a boyfriend
(who's really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben & Jerry's)

I don't date men where I work
(Hey bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building)

It's not you, it's me
(It's not me, it's you)

I'm concentrating on my career
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)

I'm celibate.
(I've sworn off *only* the men like you.)

.....and the #1 rejection line given by women (and what it actually means)

Let's be friends.
(I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with; it's that 'male perspective' thing)

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given by Men

I think of you as a sister
(You're ugly)

There's a slight difference in our ages
(You're ugly)

I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way
(You're ugly)

My life is too complicated right now.
(You're ugly)

I've got a girlfriend
(You're ugly)

I don't date women where I work
(You're ugly)

It's not you, it's me
(You're ugly)

I'm concentrating on my career
(You're ugly)

I'm celibate
(You're ugly)

.....and the #1 rejection line given by men (and what it actually means)

Let's be Friends
(You're SINFULLY ugly!)

The last thing...
The last 10 things any woman would ever say

Could our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of just being friends.

Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that way.

I think hairy butts are really sexy.

Hey, get a whiff of that one.

Please don't throw that old t-shirt away, the holes in the armpit are just too cute.

This diamond is way too big.

I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.

Wow, it really is 14 inches!

Does this make my butt look too small?

I'm wrong, you must be right again.


The last 10 things any man would ever say

I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.
While I am up, can I get you a beer?
I think hairy butts are really sexy.
Her tits are just too big.
Sometimes I just want to be held.
That chick on "Murder, She Wrote" gives me a woody.
Sure I'd love to wear a condom.
We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.
Fuck Monday Night Football, let's watch Murphy Brown.
I think we are lost, we better pull over and ask directions.